What You Need to Do for Your Kids

What you need to do for your children, more than anything, is take care of yourself so that you can remain balanced and patient. Children are highly sensitive to your mood, and almost universally, they say that your pain, on top of losing the other parent, can be one of toughest parts of the whole ordeal. Your stress negatively affects your own health, and deeply influences the well-being of your children.

Arranging for time away from your ill spouse to attend sports and school events and share outings that nurture the relationship with your kids is paramount. Younger children may be more inclined to demand your attention, but adolescents and teens will drift away to "spare" you additional worry. So it's your responsibility to establish and maintain open communication and unspoken support. In many cases, children are losing one parent; they need to feel confident they will not lose both. But you can't pass along that assurance with just words.